Hurricane
by Awinters25 - TeamAngst
Summary: Solona Amell sits in camp hours before the final confrontation against the Archdemon. Unable to sleep, her thoughts are full of Jowan's betrayal and his death at her hands. Morrigan, in one final attempt to save her friend's life, tries to convince Solona to do a Dark Ritual that would go against the Grey Warden's morality. Rated T for brief suicidal thoughts and angst.


**A/N:** Thanks to Morgana, I've decided to write a one shot about what Solona Amell feels after everything Jowan has put her through: breaking her heart when he fell in love with Lily, the betrayal she felt at his use of blood magic and when she finally had to execute him for his crimes. The one shot will include Morrigan, her best friend during the Blight, and both women finally find a reason to talk of feelings and other such nonsense (as Morrigan would put it). This will also explain why Morrigan stays with Solona and co. after the Dark Ritual was refused.

* * *

The fire crackled at the center of camp. The next morning the army would arrive in Denerim and then the Blight would finally be over. Riordan was positive that the Archdemon was leading the horde and that he was going to take the final blow against it, ending his life in the process. Solona hadn't said anything, to anyone, but she was intent on being the one to kill the Archdemon. She didn't have a reason to survive this war.

Her companions were all huddled around the campfire eating their supper and laughing at another one of Oghren's disgusting jokes. Even Sten was sitting with the rest, appearing stoic as usual, but Solona could almost see a smile on his face. Releasing a tense breath, Solona pulled the braid out of her hair and brushed the strands between her fingers. It'd been a long time since she'd had a nice bath. It was disappointing that she hadn't had a chance back in Redcliffe before they marched.

Dropping her hands from her hair, she stared at her pale skin in the light of the moon. She could still feel Jowan's warm blood on her hands. He hadn't begged for his life, not when Eamon handed down his sentence. Solona hadn't fought it either. He had put her through the Void and back. He was the reason she'd been conscripted into the Grey Wardens. Him and his damned blood magic.

Killing him hadn't been ideal. She truly wished he could have found a way to redeem himself. That maybe she could have forgiven him for ripping her heart from her chest. Now that was impossible. He was dead and she had been the one to pull the knife across his throat.

Squeezing her eyes closed, she fought the tears that threatened to spill. How did he still illicit these types of feelings within her? She wasn't supposed to love him anymore! She was supposed to be stronger than him!

_Dammit Jowan_, she thought to herself as she glanced at the sky. _Even dead, you still haunt me._

"Are you going to eat?" A sultry voice said from somewhere in the dark. Solona didn't have to look to know it was Morrigan. "Tis wasteful not to do so."

"I'm not hungry."

The raven haired witch sat beside the Grey Warden on the soft grass. There wasn't much left of it after the horde had marched through and blighted the land. The small amount of vegetation she did find, Solona used to her advantage. She was hardly going to sleep on rocks and mud.

"You must eat something, Solona. You'll need your strength for tomorrow." Morrigan handed her a bowl of what looked like stew. Solona took it without argument but didn't eat. With a sigh, the witch lifted a stick from the ground beside her and began to poke at the ground with it. "Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Solona asked gruffly, hating how much she sounded on the verge of tears. The damned blood mage had made her weak. She _hated_ being weak.

The question earned her a well deserved glare from her friend. "Don't make me smack you. 'Twould ruin my good intentions."

Solona snorted, but didn't smile. "It would hurt less than my heart does at the moment."

Morrigan frowned and glanced to where she was molesting the ground with the branch. The women sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say to the other. Solona didn't like to open up to people. It was what got her heart broken in the first place. She'd put too much emotion into her relationship with Jowan and he'd thrown her to the side for a Chantry bitch... who had ended up betraying him anyway.

"What do you want, Morrigan?" Solona asked finally, a sigh on her lips. "I'd like to wallow in my misery alone."

The witch reached out and took Solona's hand in her own. The gesture surprised the Warden and she glanced at her friend. Morrigan was similar to her in many ways, one of those being the desire to keep secrets, to not voice emotions. To see this young woman showing something akin to affection was startling to say the least.

"I... understand this is hard for you to cope with." Morrigan began, not looking at her friend and instead glancing up at the night sky. Stars were twinkling down upon them, almost lending the frantic pre-battle air of the camp some sort of calm. "I've never experienced love so I don't fully understand what he put you through. But I want you to know that I... well, you are as a sister to me."

Solona allowed one tear to fall at Morrigan's revelation. "Morrigan..I-" She trailed off, unable to voice how she was feeling. How could she feel so terrible when her friend was just trying to be comforting? "I don't think I can do it. I don't think I'm going to survive."

"'Tis just a man, Solona. I think it would be rather easy to find another."

"It's not just Jowan... It's everything. The Blight, the Archdemon, the horrible things I've done. How can I live with myself after this?" Solona pulled her hand from Morrigan's grip, feeling uncomfortable at her friend's soft touch.

"I have... a solution to your problem." Morrigan managed to get out although Solona thought she didn't want to say it to begin with.

"My problem?" Solona asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Concerning the Archdemon. I know what happens when a Grey Warden slays it." Morrigan's golden eyes looked eerie in the dark night and Solona tried to hide her uncertainty. "I know a ritual that can prevent your death."

"How-"

"'Tis not important." Morrigan snapped. "What _is_ important is that I can help you."

Solona didn't care for her friend's sudden change in attitude. "Is this a _blood magic_ ritual? You _know_ how I feel about blood magic, Morrigan."

"I wouldn't call it blood magic precisely-"

"Andraste's knickers, Morrigan! How could you ask this of me? After everything blood magic has taken from me? After everything it's done?" Solona couldn't look at her dear friend. "The very thought of dark magic, _blood_ magic, being a solution to my _death_ doesn't exactly fill me with enthusiasm."

Morrigan was indignant. "I am attempting to save your life, you bloody cretin!"

"I want to die, Morrigan." Solona whispered with pain in her voice. "Why can't you accept that and leave it alone?"

Morrigan cursed before hissing, "You are an intolerable fool! I give you a solution to your woes and you bite my head off!"

Solona closed her eyes and shook her head. "I will not resort to blood magic. Not again, Morrigan. After Isolde's death, I knew it had been a mistake to do the sacrifice. I may not have liked the woman for what she brought upon her arling, but she loved her son and husband dearly. She proved that by dying to protect them."

"So you believe your death will protect those you hold dear?" Morrigan spat out, clearly still enraged. "'Tis a foolish notion to give your life for those who wouldn't do the same."

"You don't know that." Solona muttered, dropping her face into her hands and rubbing her eyes. She was weary of the conversation, but knowing Morrigan, she would fight until she got her way. Solona didn't intend to give in to her demands.

"Don't I?" Morrigan challenged without hesitation. "If any one of our companions had to die for you, they would flee."

Solona sighed and lifted her head from her hands. "Would you?"

Morrigan was stunned into silence. When she finally managed to speak, her question was terse. "What has gotten into that dense head of yours?"

Solona turned so she was able to see Morrigan in the darkness surrounding them. Her friend couldn't hide the shock on her face. "Would _you_ sacrifice your life for _mine_? It's a simple question, Morrigan."

"'Tis no simple answer." She said with a frown.

"It's simple for me. Riordan can take the final blow, but then what would Alistair and I do? We are no true Grey Wardens. I know nothing of the Joining ritual and even less about leading. Concerning Alistair, I couldn't let him do it. He has much to live for. I... don't have anything." The last part was difficult for her to admit, but once the words were spoken, they rang true.

"No one has to die." Morrigan said quietly. If she was moved by Solona's words, she didn't show it.

"I won't let you defile yourself with Flemeth's magic, Morrigan. I know how much you despise what's she's done to you. I won't let you do it to yourself." Solona answered truthfully. She couldn't let her friend walk down the same dangerous path her mother had. It would only end in disaster.

Morrigan blinked in surprise. She must have been expecting some other explanation for she looked speechless. "I... was not aware that was how you felt."

"It is." Solona said simply, serious in her expression.

"Then I must... remain by your side, my friend." Morrigan said with a small smile. "You are truly a greater person than I."

Solona didn't respond to her remark, instead glancing back towards the fire where the rest of her companions sat. It would be a difficult battle, but she knew what had to be done. She prayed to the Maker that He would at least allow her to die with her dignity still intact. It was all she would ask of Him.


End file.
